Calm Seas (My Story Part 3)

This chapter of my life has been amazing. I cannot tell you that it has been perfect or that there have not been struggles along the way. What I can tell you is that dealing with struggles with the Lord is much better than dealing with them apart from Him. I relate this part of my life to the time that Jesus calmed the storms. The Disciples, on a boat with Jesus in the middle of the sea when a storm comes up, get very afraid. They run to Jesus, wake Him up, and present their perspective of the situation to Him. Jesus puts them in their place by going right to the heart of the matter, their faith. He then commands the wind and waves to stop, and the storm stops.

From this, I think we can learn that in this life, we will have trouble; there will be wind and waves that from our perspective might seem overwhelming. However, when we are in the boat with Jesus, there is no reason to fear. He is sovereign. There is nothing beyond His control. Nothing can happen to us that He does not allow. As I learned these truths, the storms of my life did not stop, but they did not have the power over me they had before. My walk with Jesus deepened and I found myself studying His Word more and more.

It was in this time, that I began to sense a call to move deeper. Really, it was a call to give my life over to Him completely. I realized that God’s intention for me was not just to sit and bask in this life with Him, but He has a plan for me, and that plan was laid out for me long before I even knew Him. It started quietly in my heart, but before long, I began to deal with a sense that God wanted me to teach. Honestly, I tried to ignore it. I came up with plenty of excuses as to why I could not do what I was thinking God wanted me to do. I used my own history and the bad choices I had made as what I perceived to be my strongest argument. I found that the harder I tried to ignore this call, the more difficult it was to do so.

I have been preaching and teaching for about 7 years now. I will never forget that first time I stood to teach. I knew I had found God’s will for my life. I do not know how to explain it fully, but it was similar to being able to sleep in your own bed after being gone from home for a long time. It was as if everything was right in the world. I have had the privilege of teaching in many different settings with a variety of audiences. No matter where or who it was I found myself teaching, I knew I was following God in this and He was using me to make an eternal difference in people’s lives.

God is so good. You can read about how He transforms lives all throughout the Bible. Well I am a walking testimony to this as well. He has changed me from the inside out. Not only has He given me peace, but also my life is full. I have purpose, and as I understand more deeply the love He has for me, I realize the value I must hold in His eyes. He loves me. I cannot explain it or even understand it, I am so unworthy, but as I have seen what He has done for me and in me, I know it to be true. I still mess up, I still sin, I am not perfect, but what I am is someone striving towards that end, trusting that as I fail, I am found righteous in Christ.

I am not some weird guy with a strange disposition. Really, I am no different from most men my age. I struggle with particular sins, but by God’s grace and with His power, I find victory over them. Daily I fail in my endeavor to live the life that I believe He has called us to live, but once again, He has shown me that His grace is sufficient. My favorite passage of scripture demonstrates that never again can I be separated from this amazing love. With God being so good, it still amazes me that we can be so difficult. I am the worst of all. After all, I have seen His grace and goodness in living color, yet I still try to go my own way from time to time. I still am not obedient in all that I should be obedient. I still struggle against a rebellious spirit. All of this in spite of how good God is.

The most amazing thing is, that no matter how I fail, I can always count on God, to forgive, to continue to work in my life, to calm the storms, provide my needs, protect me from harm, and to lead and guide me in this way.